We have so many roads we take along life's journey. I have to say I believe I am in one of the hardest journey's now. Yes, even harder than going through cancer. After many years of knowing my marriage was over I finally made the decision to end the marriage. We still have one child at home, he is 10. I never realized how hard it is on a child. They love both parents and feel bad because they don't want to have to choose. I am happier now than I have ever been but also depressed more than ever. Why? My soon to be ex is very narcissistic and has no friends his relationship with our son is all he has at this time. Our older children don't have very much to do with him. Our Son wants to stay with his Dad. So he stays with him, I pick him up after school, help him with his homework and keep up with all his appointments, etc. But I feel so alone when he is not with me. Of course I would never tell him because it is my problem not his. I encourage him to love his Dad and remind him that we both love him very much.
I have learned so much as I am going through this journey, more of selflessness. Even though his Dad and I could not get along does not stop the fact that he is his Dad and our Son should love and respect his Dad and be able to spend as much time with him as he needs. I don't talk negative about his Dad to him. If his Dad and I are talking and it starts getting out of hand I just walk away. It is not about me, it is all about my Son and he needs someone to set an example for him. I do have our Son in therapy as well, to help him deal with his emotions and to have an outside person he can talk with and share his true feelings, also helps him get a new way yo see things when things happen and he has no control over the situation. Which really is what I am doing as well, we will have things happen that we have no control over but we can change the way we think about it.
