Wayne and Carter were off to school this morning,Carter had field day at school. Me off to the Cancer Center for more new adventures on my journey thru this horrible disease. On my way to the Cancer Center I cried all the way. I don't understand one minute I am fine the next crying. I am still only taking 1/2 of xnax .5. Probably should take the full dose. Just want to be able to do what I need to get done in my (so called) right mindl. My appt was for 8:30 am and I am still waiting for them to call me back. Really no clue yet on what today is all about, they tried to explain to me the other day but I vagley remember. When I get thru with this simulation appt I will meet with the Medical Oconologist. When I am done I am meeting with a dear friend of mine and her 2 sons for lunch. I did watch a couple of good movies last night, the ending of Mama Mia (I love Myrl Streep) then watched the Proposal with Sandra Bullock.
I ordered the movie 'It's Complicated" can't wait to sit and watch this, I also ordered a couple of oldies. Do you remember "Ma & Pa Kettle" I love a good comedy. I believe laughter is good medicine. I worked a little bit last night on my candle stuff for the Peacock Festival Saturday.
I have com to realize appts don't mean anything it is now after 9 and I still have not been called back. So this means my appt at 10:30 will be late as well.
Finally got thru everything a little after 1 pm. Did get to make it to my lunch date. I enjoyed it so much. So good to see friends. Lunch was awesome. Afterwards walked around the mall some.
Going to make the best of these next few days. On Tuesday I will attend a chemo class at 9 am. Then the fun begins on Wednesday I have to be at the Cancer Center at 7:45 am for blood work, then they will start my chemotherapy along with my first radiation treatment. I will be at the Cancer Center for 7 hours every Wednesday. My Radiation treatments are scheduled everyday at 11:45.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Journey Thru Cancer Thursday 5/6/10
I have come to realize I no longer need a clock. My body tells me when 4 hours is up and 12 hours. My body wakes me way before the alarm is set to go off. I told my husband yesterday I am officially a pill popper now. If I don't take my medication consistantly my body screams in pain.
No woman should ever be told she has cervical cancer if she has received pap smears on a regular basis. Amazing isn't it. You can tell I have done some homework. If I am going to be given a diagnosis of course I am going to research it. When we go for our annual exam it is one of the most dreaded things we do, but when we do take our time to go and to go thru such an exam we "EXPECT" the person doing our pap to get it right! We as a patient should not have to go in and say, okay, make sure you get enough sampling and by the way make sure you sample my endocervix area - the transitional zone. Could you imagine if we walked in and made those demands while having our paps. Well guess what, that is exactly what we should be doing. My cancer is endocervical it started up in the transitional zone. Regular paps missed it. Back in 2004 I was pregnant and I had my first ob appt and you know they have to get the pap in. I had a miscarriage, that weekend (of course on a Saturday) I rec'd a letter in the mail (not certified and no phone call) stating I must contact the office immediately I had an abnormal pap. Well needless to say within 2 weeks I had a colpo done and the doctor said this can't be right your cervix does not match the pap so he had to take 2 different biopsys. They came back normal. So I of course changed doctors, because I felt the pap was not mine they made a mistake and somebody was walking around with a class 4 pap and they did not know it. I had 3 paps after that they all came back normal. So I must have been right it was not mine to begin with, now right at 6 years later I have endocervical cancer. I am angry!!!!! Why? Now when I read that pap (yes I have requested all my paps from over the years) it states endocervical cells were present. This meant nothing to me years ago, but to a medical provider it should have meant something. All my other paps did not ever mention endocervical cells, never again until 2 - 3 weeks ago did someone decide to take a sampling from the endocervical area. So you see, I could have had a hysterectomy probably years ago and been cancer free. Now I am a stage 3 and have had to go thru so much pain and so many doctors to get diagnosised. Oh yea do you know how many times I was told oh it is perimenopause. Yes I was going thru menopause so I just needed to get thru it. I tell you this listen to your body, if you know something is not right you are probably right get a second third forth opinion. I know I was beginning to think I was a hypochondriac because every day I had new symptoms.
No woman should ever be told she has cervical cancer if she has received pap smears on a regular basis. Amazing isn't it. You can tell I have done some homework. If I am going to be given a diagnosis of course I am going to research it. When we go for our annual exam it is one of the most dreaded things we do, but when we do take our time to go and to go thru such an exam we "EXPECT" the person doing our pap to get it right! We as a patient should not have to go in and say, okay, make sure you get enough sampling and by the way make sure you sample my endocervix area - the transitional zone. Could you imagine if we walked in and made those demands while having our paps. Well guess what, that is exactly what we should be doing. My cancer is endocervical it started up in the transitional zone. Regular paps missed it. Back in 2004 I was pregnant and I had my first ob appt and you know they have to get the pap in. I had a miscarriage, that weekend (of course on a Saturday) I rec'd a letter in the mail (not certified and no phone call) stating I must contact the office immediately I had an abnormal pap. Well needless to say within 2 weeks I had a colpo done and the doctor said this can't be right your cervix does not match the pap so he had to take 2 different biopsys. They came back normal. So I of course changed doctors, because I felt the pap was not mine they made a mistake and somebody was walking around with a class 4 pap and they did not know it. I had 3 paps after that they all came back normal. So I must have been right it was not mine to begin with, now right at 6 years later I have endocervical cancer. I am angry!!!!! Why? Now when I read that pap (yes I have requested all my paps from over the years) it states endocervical cells were present. This meant nothing to me years ago, but to a medical provider it should have meant something. All my other paps did not ever mention endocervical cells, never again until 2 - 3 weeks ago did someone decide to take a sampling from the endocervical area. So you see, I could have had a hysterectomy probably years ago and been cancer free. Now I am a stage 3 and have had to go thru so much pain and so many doctors to get diagnosised. Oh yea do you know how many times I was told oh it is perimenopause. Yes I was going thru menopause so I just needed to get thru it. I tell you this listen to your body, if you know something is not right you are probably right get a second third forth opinion. I know I was beginning to think I was a hypochondriac because every day I had new symptoms.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Wednesday 5/5/10
My Journey Thru -
Well out the door I ran this morning going to meet witht the oncologist today and maybe learn something new. The staff was very nice. The nurse was just as understanding as could be. Meet with doctor and he did his exam. Wayne did get here in time for our consultatin. His findings were the same as the Dr in Savannah. He says the tumor measures about 7 cm and that is of course what is causing my pain. My treatment plan should consist 4 - 5 weeks of radiation daily, and at the end of that time I will have the internal radiation done. This is implanted surgically I will be admitted to the hospital and will under this treatment will not have guest due to the radiation. Again I have been told once I complete this treatment I should be healed. Even though we don't have the PET scan results we would go ahead with treatment unless the results from the PET scan come back something different and then we will have to change our plan of treatment.
He said I could continue with my daily activities just know I will probably not have energy for anything extra. Of course there will be side effects to the treatment but they will give medication as needed and able.
My blood pressure was 144/99 this morning so I hoping that will go down.
Right now I am calming down. Every since I left there this morning, I cannot explain why but know I am just angry. I guess it is a normal emotion. But I will be glad when it leaves. Maybe when I am through with the PET scan today. Just feel like everything in my life right now is on hold and in a complete mess.
I go back Friday to have my simulation visit. That is were they get everything ready for your radiation treatment, which should start next week. I will also meet the Medical Oncologist for my consultation on Friday as well I guess to discuss my chemo. This also happens to be my Son's Field Day at school. So Dad will have to attend this one.
Well I guess I need to go and find something to do (which I have plenty) to keep me busy till time for my PET scan.
I did get to lay down for a few minutes before having to leave for my appt. I arrived at 2 pm (my scheduled appt. Finally got called back at 2:44 to Radiology and was put in the waiting room there, 3:01 called back to have IV port put in, then back to the waiting room. At 3:44 finally going to have PET scan. They injected the medicine into my IV port then took out the port. I then had to sit and wait 45 minutes. There was another lady in there and we started talking then we were told we were not allowed to talk to each other. I never found out why. After 45 minutes I had my PET scan done it looks alot like the CT scan machine you have to lay still and not move, I had to be still for 23 minutes.
Now I have to wait 2 days or more for the results.
Well out the door I ran this morning going to meet witht the oncologist today and maybe learn something new. The staff was very nice. The nurse was just as understanding as could be. Meet with doctor and he did his exam. Wayne did get here in time for our consultatin. His findings were the same as the Dr in Savannah. He says the tumor measures about 7 cm and that is of course what is causing my pain. My treatment plan should consist 4 - 5 weeks of radiation daily, and at the end of that time I will have the internal radiation done. This is implanted surgically I will be admitted to the hospital and will under this treatment will not have guest due to the radiation. Again I have been told once I complete this treatment I should be healed. Even though we don't have the PET scan results we would go ahead with treatment unless the results from the PET scan come back something different and then we will have to change our plan of treatment.
He said I could continue with my daily activities just know I will probably not have energy for anything extra. Of course there will be side effects to the treatment but they will give medication as needed and able.
My blood pressure was 144/99 this morning so I hoping that will go down.
Right now I am calming down. Every since I left there this morning, I cannot explain why but know I am just angry. I guess it is a normal emotion. But I will be glad when it leaves. Maybe when I am through with the PET scan today. Just feel like everything in my life right now is on hold and in a complete mess.
I go back Friday to have my simulation visit. That is were they get everything ready for your radiation treatment, which should start next week. I will also meet the Medical Oncologist for my consultation on Friday as well I guess to discuss my chemo. This also happens to be my Son's Field Day at school. So Dad will have to attend this one.
Well I guess I need to go and find something to do (which I have plenty) to keep me busy till time for my PET scan.
I did get to lay down for a few minutes before having to leave for my appt. I arrived at 2 pm (my scheduled appt. Finally got called back at 2:44 to Radiology and was put in the waiting room there, 3:01 called back to have IV port put in, then back to the waiting room. At 3:44 finally going to have PET scan. They injected the medicine into my IV port then took out the port. I then had to sit and wait 45 minutes. There was another lady in there and we started talking then we were told we were not allowed to talk to each other. I never found out why. After 45 minutes I had my PET scan done it looks alot like the CT scan machine you have to lay still and not move, I had to be still for 23 minutes.
Now I have to wait 2 days or more for the results.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Tuesday May 4, 2010
Spent most of the day working. They called and changed my appt from 9 in the morning to 7:30 to see the Oncologist. So a change in plans, Wayne will take little man to school then come and join me. They also called to confirm my PET Scan. Well no dessert after dinner tonight, Breakfast can be Eggs and Bacon and water (no coffee) they say be prepared it will take a couple of hours so bring something to read. (Would love to take my laptop) This will be a great opportunity to get caught up on some reading maybe get a nap who knows. Now that I have been told I need to avoid carbs till after the scan, I will be craving them like crazy.
I have began a new Journey
On April 15, 2010 I received that call that no one wants to receive that started me on my new Journey. My doctor's office called me to give me my results of my biopsy, yes it is cancer. I don't remember much more about the conversation. I thinking not me. The nurse on the other end is explaining the results and then the next step. I needed to schedule a cone biopsy.
A little history, I had been in severe pain since November. Started going to the doctors in December was diagnosed with IBS and prescribed medication that cost $400 and of course the pain was still bad medication did not fix the problem. Continued to go back to the doctors. In January my family and I went to Hilton Head SC and I was misserable because I was in so much pain. My pain was in my left lower back. I would explain I hurt in my back but it is not my back. It is like having a raw sore on the inside. Of course no one listened. I went to the ER in January the dr there was determined to dx with back pain. She failed to take the time to investigate my symptoms - irregular bleeding, difficultly urinating, severe cramping and severe low back pain. She discharged me with degenerative arthritis.
I kept on my pursuit of finding out why I was in so much pain. Every day is a challenge. I also have a 4 year old son. I was finging it hard just to do anything because I hurt or I was tired from not getting any sleep due to the pain.
Finally we have a diagnosis. I have seen a GYN Oncologist who states it is stage 3 endocervical cancer. Good news he says it is curable. I cannot have surgery because it would not give a clear margin away from the cancer. He said I should be starting my treatment this week (this was on 4/27/10) I am to have 6 to 8 weeks of daily radiation also an implant for radiation along with weekly treatments of chemo for 5 weeks. Today is May 4th and of course the treatments have not started yet. I do have my appt with the oncologist tomorrow but it is not to start treatment it is for the assessment. I also will have a PET Scan at 2.
I contacted the Mary Kay Ash Foundation and told them of my diagnosis they sent me back a beautiful email, then not even a week later they sent me a box in the mail full of information. See as of yet no one has really explained to me what is going on except for what I have googled. In this box was literature on Radiation and you, Chemo and you, A Helping Hand Resource guide for people with cancer, What you need to know about cancer and many other items. Also a beautiful heart pin lapel with wings in it.
You have to stay positive when you are given this diagnosis. I have to fight daily with the what if's. I went to my Mary Kay meeting last night. No better place to be except around a group of positive happy people. When I left to come home the pain had hit me so bad I did not know if I was going to make it home.
A little history, I had been in severe pain since November. Started going to the doctors in December was diagnosed with IBS and prescribed medication that cost $400 and of course the pain was still bad medication did not fix the problem. Continued to go back to the doctors. In January my family and I went to Hilton Head SC and I was misserable because I was in so much pain. My pain was in my left lower back. I would explain I hurt in my back but it is not my back. It is like having a raw sore on the inside. Of course no one listened. I went to the ER in January the dr there was determined to dx with back pain. She failed to take the time to investigate my symptoms - irregular bleeding, difficultly urinating, severe cramping and severe low back pain. She discharged me with degenerative arthritis.
I kept on my pursuit of finding out why I was in so much pain. Every day is a challenge. I also have a 4 year old son. I was finging it hard just to do anything because I hurt or I was tired from not getting any sleep due to the pain.
Finally we have a diagnosis. I have seen a GYN Oncologist who states it is stage 3 endocervical cancer. Good news he says it is curable. I cannot have surgery because it would not give a clear margin away from the cancer. He said I should be starting my treatment this week (this was on 4/27/10) I am to have 6 to 8 weeks of daily radiation also an implant for radiation along with weekly treatments of chemo for 5 weeks. Today is May 4th and of course the treatments have not started yet. I do have my appt with the oncologist tomorrow but it is not to start treatment it is for the assessment. I also will have a PET Scan at 2.
I contacted the Mary Kay Ash Foundation and told them of my diagnosis they sent me back a beautiful email, then not even a week later they sent me a box in the mail full of information. See as of yet no one has really explained to me what is going on except for what I have googled. In this box was literature on Radiation and you, Chemo and you, A Helping Hand Resource guide for people with cancer, What you need to know about cancer and many other items. Also a beautiful heart pin lapel with wings in it.
You have to stay positive when you are given this diagnosis. I have to fight daily with the what if's. I went to my Mary Kay meeting last night. No better place to be except around a group of positive happy people. When I left to come home the pain had hit me so bad I did not know if I was going to make it home.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
For Women Only - Important Must Read!
I cannot stress how important it is that you take control of your health now. If you have not had your cholesterol checked please do so as soon as possible. Knowledge is power! Know your numbers. Also, fit a minimal of 30 minutes of activity into your day.
Candles and More
I love being home with my family!
Candles and More
I love being home with my family!
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